The 2K Effect - Eazy

We made it.... This is the day where men around the world have been impatiently waiting for and women have been dreading. The drop of 2K fuckin 12. I'm ecstatic to say the least. If you don't have the game by now, you fuckin losing b...except for me, cause although I reserved the game already, my x box took it upon itself to completely stop working last week, fuck Microsoft b. So I've just been spending what would be my 2k time reading the joyous tweets of others enjoying the game...hopefully ill get my turn soon enough :'(. On to the matter at hand tho! The 2K effect. This is where gamers everywhere completely abandon all of our prior responsibilities and obligations, mainly women,  for about a 2 to 4 week period to focus all attention on 2k. Fret not tho cause we at Marvin's Room have a few guidelines/tips that will help you all understand this concept to ensure that everyone makes it through this peacefully and happy....Ladies I know this is a particularly hard time for you so pay attention.

1. Leave Me Be, b
This is by far most important. You gotta understand ladies, niggas have been waiting for this shit to drop ever since we completed the last Michael Jordan challenge on 2K11. So whatever time i have between classes, work or studying, that Xbox will be on. This is what the 2k effect does to men. In no way am I gonna wanna go out and chill with you the night after 2K12 drops, while my $60 game just chills all alone in the Xbox. Go by yourself b. For the next 2 to 4 weeks, all the time we usually spend is gonna be dedicated to the Chicago Bulls. I don't wanna hear it. Us niggas have let y'all rock as we sat back quietly in the background for the entire seasons of Housewives or Bad Girls Club.  Plus, shit only comes once a year, we've given you all ample time to prepare, so now that the day has come, just leave me be, b.

2. No I Don't Wanna Play With You
I know what you're thinking ladies, cause for some reason you all have this idea that since all we want to do is play 2k, that if you learn to play you can join in on the fun.....nah yo. Take those stupid thoughts and go play with that expensive ass flat iron you got for your birthday, or better yet, play house and hook a nigga up with a meal or something, hunger is sure to follow after completing a couple of those season games. Just know that we aren't playing 2K, No way I'm I gonna listen to "how did you do that!?" or "why cant he shoot 3's too?" or "let me score!"  for 4 entire 7 minute quarters.

3. Practice And I'll Leave You
I strongly advise those strong minded women who just Have to play 2k to not get good at it. Because if I were to catch a glimpse of my girl actually showing promise in the game ima automatically think you were learning from some niggas down the street. Don't come around here cooking with D Rose yo I promise you you'll be single in a matter of crossovers.

4. Beat Me And I'll Beat Yo....Nvmind
Like my nigga Brey said, "if your girl can beat you in 2K, its not considered domestic violence." Once that 4th quarter clock approaches 0 and your girl has acquired more points than you, she is officially by law an 18+ male and can be dealt with as such. If I've been playing 2K for years now there's no way ima take my girl beating me lightly. Shit just strips you of all your manhood and dignity. How can you explain shit like that to your first born son b? In no way are we at Marvin's Room promoting domestic abuse but umm....do what you gotta do fellas

5. Do You
The 2K effect is in no way a bad thing. You ladies think that just because we not tryna chill with you for a few weeks that we don't love you. Nah b that's not the case...in fact, we doing this for y'all. This is y'all time to get your life together in you career, education or whatever other endeavours you may be seeking. You know you need it, so stop being ungrateful b, you can just thank us later.

6. The 2K Effect Doesn't Discriminate
Don't think for one second that just because you're "A Dime" or look good the The 2k effect wont pay a visit to a relationship near you. Cause you'll just be more disappointed when it happens. Sure if you're on the lower side of the rating scale you may experience an extended time frame from the 2K effect, but everyone gets put on that back burner for at least a few, its not you boo, its us.

7. The "Avid 2K Woman"
Fellas, women will often try to fake you out by boasting about how nice they are in 2K, don't fall for it!!! 9 times out of 10 its just a lonely attempt for them to join you having a merry time. Because sure enough, once the players hit the court the first thing she's gonna say is, "how do i jump for the ball". Take my word for it b, tell her to jump her ass back to the crib.

8. 4th Shift
This is a term I created strictly for big releases like 2K. We all know there are only 3 shifts in a day, but the 4th shift has no specific time. Its whenever you decided to consider yourself free. So basically females, get in where you fit it. If you see homie taking a break from 2K to chill or relax, that's your time to hop in and offer your services. This way you aren't completely being left out, you just have a short time frame to chill. Be appreciative that Call of duty didn't also drop today cause this guideline would then be void.

9. You Mad?
This is mostly for you bitter females out there. Ones who cant accept the fact that they've been temporarily replaced by animated sports players. Ones who don't want to abide by the Marvin's Room guidelines and will probably end up breaking their mans 2k or X box. I just have one thing to say.......Yo you mad? Aaahhhh you mad huh? Here are a couple tweets I saw last night from these type of females, lmao
"...I HATE 2k, but its still no choice, its still in my life. -_____-"
"Omq I hate that fuckin x box.!!! & I hate 2k even more.!"
"Fuck him, fuck 2K, and fuck that damn play staytion!"
These shits had me in tears!

That's all we have for now and should be more than enough to get everyone through these next few weeks with their relationships and game systems in tact. Y'all be good though, ima go try to convince Brey to come scoop so maybe I too can join in on the experience that is The 2K Effect.

I'm out,
~Eazy