Guest Blog: Slander & Jokes on Twitter: Can You Handle It -@MyNameIsRandall

   Wassap y'all. This is my 1st and last blog post and I wanna thank Eazy and Brey for letting me perform my segment “Slander & Jokes on Twitter: Can You Handle It? “on their respected blog. You guys are doing your thing and keep up the good blogs. Go follow them (@Tha_FreshPrince & @breyboy11) and me as well (@MyNameIsRandall). This is a topic that must be addressed because I’m seeing too many people catch feelings and getting bent outta shape when a simple joke or slander has been said to them. That being said, let’s get to the word.
     So we’ve all seen people get into arguments on Twitter about music, heauxs (hoes), your favorite athlete, my favorite team, who could whoop who’s ass in ball and why, etc. Have you ever seen that one person chime into an argument or conversation and the other person just @’s them with slander or jokes that seem a little too harsh? People will instantly @ you with these things simply because you see an idea or view from another prospective. I have recently had the luxury of doing that. Well kinda. It’s one of the many things that you didn’t see coming when you checked that box for Terms and Agreements to finalize your Twitter account.
     Here’s a little anecdote I had recently that will keep you entertained and will help me get my point across. A girl that a follow had a dude terrorizing her by chucking thirst grenades into the camp where her mentions were stationed. He claimed that he wasn’t thirsty (lie), so I scrolled through his profile and saw another girl he attempted to “spit game” to openly say “You are thirsty” and she escorted him out of her mentions smh. I’m not mad at him though because: A) It was 3 am, so the capacity of thirst was at its highest level and B) The girl I follow is attractive without a doubt as well as the other random girl. #SlightThirst but back to the topic. So anyway I karate chopped into the conversation by saying #FailedThirst after the girl said “get out of my mentions” to this guy. I knew this fella wouldn’t let that slide if he had a little #TwitterThug in him, so he @ me and replied “I’m not thirsty brotherman”. Right then and there I knew he was wearing manually cut jean shorts, an ashy Tupac Makaveli tee, and eating a cold, soggy bologna and cheese sandwich. Brotherman?!?!? I responded with “Don’t call me that Hines Ward”. Now I was really getting on his nerves because he looks just like him and he knew that. (@tmmkay is his Twitter) I could feel the material in his denim shorts slowly unraveling due to his anger (pause). In addition to my look-alike comparison, the girl I follow and my twitfam teamed up in the slander. #YouMad?’s were carelessly thrown, #FollowerStruggle hay-makers swings were swung (he has 7 followers), and some 2 piece lethal #WhoHurtYou? combos. After 5 or so minutes passed, this guy called me a “cornball ass nigga”. Wait hold the phones. Nigga what?!?!?! You had 300 uninterrupted seconds to type this?!?! Yes, I lie to you not. I made it a favorite, RT’d it and everything. Check it out if you doubt me. That slander is the WORST I'VE EVER HEARD by a man with facial hair. That gets the oooo’s and ahhhh’s of 4th and 5th graders…. maybe.  No, nope, naw, nah. NOT ON TWITTER. This had to be a terrible nightmare. There's no other way. But no, it was real, no "Inception" going on here. I went to my Twitter account the next day and checked to see if I hurt his feelings. (He has a new twitcon now, so I guess I did) hahaha. The comment was still lingering and orbiting on planet Twitter, and he was not even marked as spam or a virus. So I took matters into my own hands and went to the “Twitter Help Center”, clicked on “Report a Violation”, then followed the steps for reporting someone as spam. 
      That was my latest experience regarding slander on Twitter that happened about a week ago. So……..what’s the point? The point is that slander with random people is fun and you should try it out if you get a chance. You have little to lose and so much to gain. But let me add this VERY important rule. Slay How You Would Slay In Person! I consider myself to be an overall nice guy that slays about 75-85% of the time. Saying this, I know I'm not gonna slay, roast, or slander people all the time, but I will pick and choose when to do it, and it will be more times than not. But if you do decide to slander every once in a while, do it based on YOUR CHARACTER. Don't be that Tyler Perry "I will never hurt you" kinda guy he has in all his movies in person, but turn into a Richard Pryor on Twitter. It just doesn't work like that. Sorry for the rant, I just had to get that off my chest. Now let's “Dougie” over to the fun part of slander. Studies have shown that the fun level increases 23-27% if your twitfam gets involved,guaranteed. The only downside is that you might see all kinds of struggle slander and failed comebacks like I unfortunately did. But you can easily respond with hash-tags like I’ve displayed here while also learning other slander tactics from your twitfam that you could use later down the road. There’s a 2.8% chance of you actually seeing this random person in real life anyway, so why not just have fun and make the most of your disclosed location? Make note that roughly 88.47% of slander is NOT FOR REAL: JUST JOKES. I can’t emphasize that enough. If you get offended by it and/or the Twitter Projects are too brutal for you, sprint past that deserted asphalt basketball court with the broken chain nets, and frolic your way into Facebook Botanical Gardens where it’s a crime to hit someone with the “Zzzzzzzzz’s” after a boring, uninteresting tweet, a “#CoolStoryBro” after someone tells a story that no one would ever care about on God’s green earth, or a twitpic of someone foolishly pointing at you asking if #YouMad? Don’t be that person that is overly sensitive and deletes your Twitter because you got “clowned”. Nobody likes a Bow Wow.
                                                                                                        -Randall Davis

Special Guest Blog "Protected Twitters" by @cashklein

Wassup y'all. We got a special guest blog for y'all from one of our main homies on Twitter @cashklein. Check him out as he drops knowledge and don't forget follow him on Twitter:

First off, I wanna give a shoutout to both Brey and Eazy cus they’re both doing their thing with this blog. I mean over 1,600 views in like two weeks? Gotta respect that. Second off, this is my first and prolly last blog post ever so if you like it, I’m sorry that you won’t get to read my words ever again..and if you don’t like it, then just know you’ll only have to read my words just this once. And if you really like my words, then follow me on twitter ( @cashklein ). Aight so I came up with the idea for Brey to do a post about ‘Protected Twitters’ and he said that I could do the honors, so here I am.

Aight now on to the subject…Protected Twitters. If you’re a guy, you SHOULD NOT have a protected twitter. If you have a stalker, just block em. The ONLY (and I mean ONLY) reason I won’t look down upon you for having a protected twitter is if you know your parents are checking your twitter…but other than that, no fruckin excuses. Girls get off a little easier for having protected twitters. Why? I don’t know, they just do haha. But regardless, I really don’t see the point of having em.

Now on to the risk of following a protected twitter. I’m not even gonna talk about following a guy with a protected twitter cus they shouldn’t have one in the first place. So you see a hot girl you know with a protected twitter..your instinct is telling you to follow her so you can tweet something cute at her, but you run the risk of her being one of those girls that tweets once every two days about shit you could not care less about. Those are the fruckin worst btw. So let’s say you follow her and her very rare tweets are just terrible…then you unfollow her, right? Right. Then a few months pass by and you start to get real curious about what she’s tweeting…which is natural if she’s good looking haha. What do you do? Do you request to follow her? Cus if you do, then she’ll know for a fact you unfollowed her at one point. Or do you just keep on without following her and continually tell yourself her tweets prolly still suck? It’s up to you…but I have yet to re-follow a protected twitter that I unfollowed. But that’s just me.

Aight now on to the only good thing that can come from protected twitters. Ironically, that ‘only good thing’ is when they go from protected to unprotected. Cus then you can check up on some hot girls who suck at tweeting without actually having to follow em. For instance, I followed this one chick who was protected but her tweets were worthless so I unfollowed her after the second day. Next time I check, she had an unprotected twitter…so now I can check it out without messing up my following/follower ratio haha. Take notes, people.

All in all, FRUCK Protected Twitters…I mean FRUCK em…woah sorry…that was a little built up.

So that’s just my take on Protected Twitters. Follow me @cashklein. I’m out. One love.